So often I hear people tell me "I'd love to, but I just don't have the time" or "I wish I could make the time" or "If I have the time..."We've all heard such statements time and time again and they're usually offered as an excuse to decline taking on a commitment. It's certainly not exclusive to 12 step fellowships, I see it in Church and other organizations as well. There always seems to be the few who "have the time" or "make the time" to do what needs to be done.
It's interesting that those same people that have no time find enough to critique what everybody else is doing, isn't it?
When I was drinking and drugging, I had plenty of time for that, along with work to pay for it and sometimes even other things -if they didn't interfere too badly with my party life. All of a sudden there's no time. Where did it go? I didn't sober up to sit around church basements every night and discuss the old days, but it is an important part of my life today and I devote some nights to it. Rightly so. I'm married and have family matters and other social outlets that I enjoy along with the fellowship that led me to recovery. That must always remain central to my schedule and get the priority time it deserves. Quite a few of us balk at the term "obligation," but I submit to you that I am always obligated to help another sick and suffering person find the freedom I have in my life today. If not that, then surely the obligation to drink or drug myself to death will eventually follow.
I was discussing this matter recently at a meeting I was at with a guy who asserted that people have changed. I'm not sure they have, but even if that is true, I'm fairly confident that my disease and its mission have not.
I know of a young couple who were fired up and involved with everything going on for a couple of years. They seemed happy to be involved, had lots of friends and did a lot of fun things with them. The guy did well with his job, bought a house and started dropping commitments. Suddenly he was too busy for them. Then he got engaged to a girl he has been seeing for quite some time and she stopped going to meetings. This is a recipe for relapse and disaster that I have seen countless times. When I see that, I only hope they make it back before they harm others or themselves irreparably. I don't know much about her story, but I know this is not his first go at the fellowship. How many times in my life did I convince myself (or try to) that this time it will be different?
I find the time for those things that are important to me. If you are getting complacent, go to a place where there are a lot of newcomers. Even if you don't find somebody to sponsor right away, give out your phone number or offer a ride. You are sure to be reminded of what it was like and could easily be again if you have no reservations about your own alcoholism. Hanging around with people early in sobriety not only keeps it green for me, but also injects me with more of that excitement I used to have -- fueled by the blessings I have in my life today.
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