Those who guard their mouths preserve their lives; those who open wide their lips come to ruin. -Proverbs 13:3 (NRSV)
Last night, my wife had posted something political on Facebook (which she often does) and had her first experience with someone who vehemently disagreed with her viewpoint, choosing to respond in an angry manner. He accused her of such things as racism (I know my wife and she is no racist) and was "sad" for her. She was upset, called my attention to it and asked me who he was (she had "friended" him because he was a friend of friends and didn't really know him). I didn't know him, but was angered at his nasty little unfounded comment and accusation, firing back from my account that he should reserve his shame for himself. I also questioned why people can't disagree with the present political climate without being labeled racist? In the back of my mind as I'm posting it, it occurred to me that it was simply venting and would serve no real constructive purpose at all. I wanted to make him angry in retaliation more than I wished to prove a point. My thought proved to be correct: it didn't serve any constructive purpose and simply made me more angry when he fired back with insults and profanity. My urge was to continue this--as it was clear he had no basis to argue upon and was resorting to the age-old trick of insult hurling and anger. However, I caught myself and came to terms with the fact that, as a Christian, such situations are to be avoided--or at the very least diffused when possible, not ignited further! After all,what purpose would be served by continuing the "hate fest" that was becoming more and more apparent?
Although not friends with this person via social media, I was able to peer into his life a little bit through reading posts and conversations he had with several people (his privacy settings were basically non-existent on Facebook). He had come from a poorer neighborhood not far from where I grew up (in fact, I lived in that same neighborhood myself for a while when younger, so I know its shortcomings). He had also suffered the fairly recent loss of his wife. He was angry. People he knew reminded him of his angry nature on occasion in his posts. God was not a presence in his life that he chose to acknowledge and actually scoffed at the idea of prayer in one conversation he had been involved in. It was all adding up. I've been angry and lashed out myself. Couple that with his ardent political views (also apparent from his profile) and it made sense. I am not saying this to excuse profanity and general overall "meanness," but now I see where he was coming from. To better understand makes it easier to forgive. To forgive makes me a better person and pleases God.
So, although not verbally engaging in confrontation with this man, it was essentially the same thing via a keyboard. The keyboard is a "mouthpiece" itself when connected to the world at large and should be regarded as such when contemplating comments. Self-examination made it obvious to me that he had offended my pride when he attacked my wife (and my ideology) on Facebook. My actions were not truly out of love for her but a retaliation from my own personal pride. Becoming more and more aware of this as I walk with my Lord helps me to more quickly identify [and maybe even avoid from time to time] such non-productive behavior and correct it.
But he gives all the more grace; therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6 (NRSV)
Last night, my wife had posted something political on Facebook (which she often does) and had her first experience with someone who vehemently disagreed with her viewpoint, choosing to respond in an angry manner. He accused her of such things as racism (I know my wife and she is no racist) and was "sad" for her. She was upset, called my attention to it and asked me who he was (she had "friended" him because he was a friend of friends and didn't really know him). I didn't know him, but was angered at his nasty little unfounded comment and accusation, firing back from my account that he should reserve his shame for himself. I also questioned why people can't disagree with the present political climate without being labeled racist? In the back of my mind as I'm posting it, it occurred to me that it was simply venting and would serve no real constructive purpose at all. I wanted to make him angry in retaliation more than I wished to prove a point. My thought proved to be correct: it didn't serve any constructive purpose and simply made me more angry when he fired back with insults and profanity. My urge was to continue this--as it was clear he had no basis to argue upon and was resorting to the age-old trick of insult hurling and anger. However, I caught myself and came to terms with the fact that, as a Christian, such situations are to be avoided--or at the very least diffused when possible, not ignited further! After all,what purpose would be served by continuing the "hate fest" that was becoming more and more apparent?
Although not friends with this person via social media, I was able to peer into his life a little bit through reading posts and conversations he had with several people (his privacy settings were basically non-existent on Facebook). He had come from a poorer neighborhood not far from where I grew up (in fact, I lived in that same neighborhood myself for a while when younger, so I know its shortcomings). He had also suffered the fairly recent loss of his wife. He was angry. People he knew reminded him of his angry nature on occasion in his posts. God was not a presence in his life that he chose to acknowledge and actually scoffed at the idea of prayer in one conversation he had been involved in. It was all adding up. I've been angry and lashed out myself. Couple that with his ardent political views (also apparent from his profile) and it made sense. I am not saying this to excuse profanity and general overall "meanness," but now I see where he was coming from. To better understand makes it easier to forgive. To forgive makes me a better person and pleases God.
So, although not verbally engaging in confrontation with this man, it was essentially the same thing via a keyboard. The keyboard is a "mouthpiece" itself when connected to the world at large and should be regarded as such when contemplating comments. Self-examination made it obvious to me that he had offended my pride when he attacked my wife (and my ideology) on Facebook. My actions were not truly out of love for her but a retaliation from my own personal pride. Becoming more and more aware of this as I walk with my Lord helps me to more quickly identify [and maybe even avoid from time to time] such non-productive behavior and correct it.
But he gives all the more grace; therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6 (NRSV)
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