Lots of time I hear people in the fellowship I belong to trying to put positive spins on every little thing that happens, reminding us to 'always be grateful" and parroting Dr. Paul O's famous paragraph on acceptance -that tells us that all things happen for a reason and nothing is by accident. While most of the time this advice is well intended and should be heeded, I was also told once by a mentor that we should not go through life with rose-colored glasses on, trying to spin everything in a positive light. To do so will surely bring some huge disappointment sooner or later and isn't a very realistic way to look at life. Some things suck. That's just the way it is.
When had recently had a falling out with a family member, things were said and done that were untrue and hurtful. This person continues to dwell on an unfounded resentment and it's clearly taking its toll on her. It was a real betrayal on a deep level that hurt me more than anything in recent years. Using the things I was taught along my journey through the steps, I am able to come out the other side of it a little wiser than I went in. Moreover, it caused me to take a serious look at myself and work on improving in areas where I can. So positive things came out of it, but it still sucks. Taking any good I can find out of a bad thing does not make the thing good, just useful in some way.
What is important is to look at things in a clear, sober light and assess what can and cannot be taken from them -in terms of experience and lessons. Often bad things can be turned into good -- but, again, that doesn't mean that they aren't bad to begin with and should be acknowledged as such. As a younger person, I did many bad things to people in the throws of my self-centered attitude and lifestyle. I caused a lot of wreckage in the lives of those around me. My history does not suddenly transform itself into one of goodness because I got sober; what I can do as a result of taking some sound spiritual advice and finding courage and fortitude is take those bad things and use them for good from this day forward.
Bill Wilson, a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, wrote in a book by the same name that the alcoholic should not regret the past nor wish to close the door on it. I understand the point he was making. As recovering people, we cannot be constantly pinned down by guilt and remorse which clouds our vision of the present day and skews our perspective on what it is we should be doing to help others. There are a great many things I have done in my life that I regret and would love a 'do-over' on. Anybody in recovery who doesn't admit that is someone whose process of living a self-examined life should merit suspicion. What I do with those regrets is really what matters.
Our five year old grandson had his first day of kindergarten today. He was just born yesterday, it seems. Where does the time go?
Autumn is fast approaching. This is one summer I will not miss. Although, I have a feeling I will look back and see that some really good things have come out of it that I missed when I was in the middle of it.
Tonight I will go to a 12 step meeting in our friend's home and am looking forward to it. It is one of the tools that I use to deal with less than fun periods in my life. It reminds me of what really matters.
When had recently had a falling out with a family member, things were said and done that were untrue and hurtful. This person continues to dwell on an unfounded resentment and it's clearly taking its toll on her. It was a real betrayal on a deep level that hurt me more than anything in recent years. Using the things I was taught along my journey through the steps, I am able to come out the other side of it a little wiser than I went in. Moreover, it caused me to take a serious look at myself and work on improving in areas where I can. So positive things came out of it, but it still sucks. Taking any good I can find out of a bad thing does not make the thing good, just useful in some way.
What is important is to look at things in a clear, sober light and assess what can and cannot be taken from them -in terms of experience and lessons. Often bad things can be turned into good -- but, again, that doesn't mean that they aren't bad to begin with and should be acknowledged as such. As a younger person, I did many bad things to people in the throws of my self-centered attitude and lifestyle. I caused a lot of wreckage in the lives of those around me. My history does not suddenly transform itself into one of goodness because I got sober; what I can do as a result of taking some sound spiritual advice and finding courage and fortitude is take those bad things and use them for good from this day forward.
Bill Wilson, a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, wrote in a book by the same name that the alcoholic should not regret the past nor wish to close the door on it. I understand the point he was making. As recovering people, we cannot be constantly pinned down by guilt and remorse which clouds our vision of the present day and skews our perspective on what it is we should be doing to help others. There are a great many things I have done in my life that I regret and would love a 'do-over' on. Anybody in recovery who doesn't admit that is someone whose process of living a self-examined life should merit suspicion. What I do with those regrets is really what matters.
Our five year old grandson had his first day of kindergarten today. He was just born yesterday, it seems. Where does the time go?
Autumn is fast approaching. This is one summer I will not miss. Although, I have a feeling I will look back and see that some really good things have come out of it that I missed when I was in the middle of it.
Tonight I will go to a 12 step meeting in our friend's home and am looking forward to it. It is one of the tools that I use to deal with less than fun periods in my life. It reminds me of what really matters.
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