Early in sobriety everybody said "take it a day at a time" or "one day at a time." Sometimes, it was 5 minutes at a time. I sure thought I had a grasp on that concept back then! Of course, being new, the focus was strictly on going another day without a drink or chemical substitute. Today the focus tends to be more on confronting those many "faces of fear" I learned of. I thought those faces existed only to haunt me; through my tenure in this fellowship, I have discovered they actually motivate me to move into a closer relationship with my Higher Power. I relish the spiritual enlightenment that comes with that.
As the years advance, I have come to terms with another meaning of living a day at a time, one not so easily defined by words as it is through experience. During my journey through sobriety, I have experienced many wonderful things, brought about by continually staying sober and gaining years on the planet. Sometimes those wonderful things don't seem that way at first glance -- they can actually be rather frightening (change often is).
When my head hits the pillow and the wheels of my mind start turning, those things (that aren't so big in the light of day) tend to grow into huge monsters that overwhelm me. As a result, they often keep me conscious half the night in a state of worry. In my next post, I'll take some of them apart and illustrate how the relationships I have with both my Higher Power and the people in the fellowship have helped me with my struggles in enormous ways I could have never anticipated. Moreover, I'll explain how the 12 steps have been the key to my finding those relationships I just mentioned that make such wonderful tools.
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